The Mending Page 9

  “Timothy!” Malinda called as loud as she dared. “Just a minute.” She prayed he had heard her and wouldn’t throw more pebbles, lest he wake up Mamm and Daed, or worse, Atlee. Sam was most likely still out with Emma, so she didn’t have to worry about him. Malinda sailed across the room and yanked open the door. She paused for only a moment, listening for the sound of anyone stirring. The silence assured her no one else had awakened.

  She crept down the stairs and through the dark house to the back door. She slowly pulled the door open to avoid the creaking noise it sometimes made. She closed it gently behind her. “Psst, Tim!” She sighed in relief when he joined her at the back steps. “Whew! I was afraid you hadn’t heard me.”

  “And I was afraid you’d gone to fetch a pitcher of water to dump out the window on my head.”

  Malinda giggled. “Why on earth would I do that?”

  “I-I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me.”

  “Ach, Tim! Did I give you that idea when we rode home from the singing?”

  “Nee, but I figured you had a chance to think and might have changed your mind.”

  “I did not change my mind.”

  “Me, neither.”

  “I assumed you hadn’t, since you’re here.”

  “Right.”

  “Would you like to kumm inside?”

  “Would you mind sitting here on the steps awhile? It’s a nice evening, as long as the mosquitoes leave us alone.”

  “Sure. We can sit.” Malinda plopped down on the top step and slid her dress out of the way to give Timothy room. Their arms and legs touched as he settled his large body on the step beside her. Malinda’s pulse sped up to double time. She really couldn’t wiggle over any farther. She heard his sharp intake of breath. Was he experiencing a reaction similar to hers? Malinda willed herself to calm down. She gazed at the star-sprinkled sky while she searched for something to say. “Look! Did you see it?” A star had shot across the sky with a long tail of light trailing behind it.

  “Jah. Isn’t it amazing? I love looking at the stars.” Timothy pointed out constellations.

  “How do you know all those? I only know the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper.”

  “I’ve always been interested in the stars and nature and, well, all the beauties the Lord Gott has made. I’ve borrowed books from the library and read a fair amount.”

  “That’s wunderbaar.” Usually Malinda checked out inspirational novels whenever she visited the library, not educational materials. It pleased her, though, that Timothy was so smart and so eager to learn things on his own. “What else do you read?”

  “Well, let’s see. I’ve read all sorts of woodworking books. I like to see the different styles and techniques. We have a lot of Englisch customers, so I want to be able to build all kinds of things.”

  “You do very nice work. I think you may have a natural gift.”

  “Maybe. I know I enjoy creating things and making people happy.”

  “I think you do both quite well.” Malinda’s voice had dropped to a whisper.

  “Huh?”

  Malinda gave a little cough. “Do you read other books?”

  “I’ve read some farming books and magazines—you know, about plants, soil, and things like that. The modern way of doing things wouldn’t work for us, of course, but I have been reading some about organic farming. I’ve convinced Daed to at least think about that.”

  “You are quite a scholar, even though our school days are long gone.”

  “We’re never too old to learn new things.”

  “I suppose that’s true.”

  “Do you like to read, other than the Bible, of course?”

  “Sure. I usually stick to fiction, but I do like to look through quilting books and cookbooks.”

  “There you go. You’re still a scholar, too. We have that in common.”

  “I suppose we do.”

  Suddenly Timothy grasped Malinda’s hand. “Look! Another shooting star.” He pointed at the sky with his other hand.

  “Amazing!” Malinda couldn’t be sure if she meant Gott’s display of lights in the night sky or the tingling feeling that traveled from her fingertips up her arm and throughout her body. Her heart danced when Timothy threaded his fingers through hers. Surely he felt this electric shock wave, too.

  Timothy lightly squeezed Malinda’s hand. “It’s like the Lord has put on a little show just for us, ain’t so?”

  “Jah. I’m glad we stayed outside, or we would have missed this.”

  “I’ve missed seeing you this week. I guess we’ve both been busy. I had several big orders I just finished today.” His voice softened a bit. “You’ve been well, jah?”

  “I’m not sick all the time!” Malinda attempted to pull her hand from his.

  “I didn’t mean to imply you were, Malinda.” Timothy didn’t loosen his grip on her hand. “I’ve been around here enough to know you are usually fine, but you were pretty sick when you were away. I only wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I was sick weeks ago. I’ve been fine since I returned home.”

  “Gut.” Tim fell silent.

  “I-I’m sorry, Tim. I didn’t mean to bite your head off. I guess I’m a little sensitive about my illness.”

  “A little?”

  Malinda laughed, dispelling the tension that had grown between them. “Okay. Maybe more than a little. I-I don’t want you to think I’m, uh, sickly and incapable of doing things.”

  “I would never think that, Malinda. Time after time I’ve seen your strength and determination. If I ask how you are, it’s because I care.”

  “Danki.” Malinda squeezed Tim’s hand this time.

  By the time Malinda said goodbye to Timothy and slipped back upstairs to her room, several hours had passed. She never would have believed they had talked so long if she hadn’t checked the little battery-operated clock on her nightstand. As it was, she shook it and put it to her ear to listen for its faint ticking. She quickly undressed, brushed out her hair and wove it into a single braid, and slid between the crisp cotton sheets on her bed.

  No amount of willing would make sleep claim her, despite the late hour. Her mind spun like the carousel she’d seen at the Fireman’s Carnival as she passed by it a few years ago. She had peered out the buggy window at the painted horses bobbing up and down and going around and around. Her present thoughts were just as sporadic and dizzying.

  Malinda had really enjoyed sitting on the step and talking with Timothy. To her surprise and delight, she and Tim had a lot in common. They had talked easily, and any lapses in conversation had felt comfortable, not awkward. Holding Timothy’s hand felt natural and somehow right. What would it be like to kiss him?

  Malinda’s cheeks burned even though she was alone in the dark. She’d never been kissed. She’d thought Isaac had been close to kissing her once, but something—she couldn’t remember what—had interrupted that moment. That had never happened again, to Malinda’s relief. Since Isaac had turned out to be so fickle and insincere, she was glad her first kiss had not been with him.

  Tim, on the other hand, was altogether different. He was definitely more mature. Tim had a gut head on his shoulders. He was serious about his work, yet he had a lighter side as well. He teased, but not in a mean way, and he laughed easily. Malinda had always known Tim to be polite and considerate, but he was proving to be fun, too.

  Her mind, true to its usual rational nature, sifted through the facts that all painted Timothy in a favorable light. Her heart, however, ventured into uncharted territory. She didn’t remember it flip-flopping in her chest one moment and skipping beats the next when she was near Isaac. She didn’t remember any electric current racing through her body when Isaac held her hand, like it did when Timothy merely brushed against her.

  How did this change occur so suddenly? She had known Tim all her life and hadn’t experienced any of these strange emotions before. Had her feelings changed this drastically in the blink of an eye, or ha
d she always had a soft spot for Timothy? Of all her bruders’ freinden, Timothy stood out as the nicest. Maybe deep down she had cared for him more than she’d even realized. Maybe she suppressed those feelings because Timothy was older and she figured he would be more interested in an older girl, a healthier girl.

  Ach! She couldn’t subject Timothy to a life of putting up with her illness. Granted, she sometimes went for long stretches feeling fine, but when a flare-up hit, she could be useless. She could even end up in the hospital again, or need surgery like Dr. McWilliams had hinted at. That would be a severe hardship on a family and on a family’s finances. And the cost of her medications! Malinda experienced more than a little guilt every time she had to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy. She hated that Daed had to spend so much of his hard-earned money on her. Of course, he never complained.

  She’d better nix any budding romance right away and forget all about Timothy Brenneman—or any other fellow, for that matter. What she really needed to do was find some way to earn money to pay for her own doctor visits and medications. A salty tear slid down her cheeks, followed closely by a silent deluge. She smashed her face into her pillow to muffle any sound of her sobs. In a few weeks she would be joining the church with her baptismal class, but an upcoming marriage for her would never be published at the conclusion of a Sunday morning service.

  Chapter Thirteen

  As summer’s long days shortened and the oppressive heat lessened, instructional classes drew to a close. Baptismal candidates would soon be ready to make a commitment to their faith. Malinda had been attending classes on church Sundays for the past several weeks. There would be nine classes total. The candidates had completed eight of them. Only one more to go and Malinda would be ready to become a full-fledged member of the church.

  Her parents had provided an ample background on the Amish church and beliefs and had always set a fine example of Christian living for her and her bruders, but the classes had been quite intensive. Malinda had studied the Eighteen Articles from the Dordrecht Confession of Faith and corresponding scriptures. She’d delved into a more thorough study of the Ordnung. She understood what was expected of her as an Amish woman and a member of the church. And now she felt ready for baptism.

  The decision to join the church had been an easy one for Malinda. She had no desire for the Englisch life and didn’t really partake of any worldly ways even during her rumspringa. Surrounded by all kinds of beeping machines and flashing lights while she was in that Ohio hospital had provided more exposure to technology than Malinda cared to have. Sure, cars and buses were great when a person needed to get to some far-off place or needed to arrive somewhere quickly, but she much preferred her dependable horse and buggy.

  Malinda knew many Amish young people, even in quiet, largely rural Southern Maryland, purchased cell phones, iPads, radios, and computer gadgets she didn’t even know the names of. A few even purchased cars. She’d had no desire for any of these modern inventions. The old ways suited her just fine. She had no idea how difficult sacrificing any of those gizmos might be for some of her fellow candidates.

  Isaac never gave Malinda any indication he had tried out many Englisch ways, and most of the others in her class seemed to have no commitment issues. The only person she had qualms about was Becky Zook. Several times Malinda had heard Becky humming songs that were definitely not in the Ausbund. Many of her flirty, flouncy ways seemed more Englisch than Amish. Occasionally her lips had seemed brighter and shinier and her pale eyelashes darker. Malinda had heard through the grapevine that Becky had a cell phone, one of those fancier ones that could even take pictures and connect to the Internet, but she had no firsthand knowledge of that.

  Whatever the case may be, Malinda sincerely hoped Becky would be able to make her commitment and that she would not lead Isaac astray. Not that she cared about Isaac in any sort of romantic way, but she would hate for Isaac—or any of her freinden—to jump the fence. It would be especially devastating if Isaac left the community to please Becky and then she dropped him like a hot potato, as she’d done with so many other fellows. The two of them had been reprimanded by the bishop several times for being late to class or for not showing the proper attitude. Malinda couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when the candidates met with the bishop and ministers one final time the night before their baptism.

  Would any of the young folks in her group change their minds or say they weren’t yet ready to make a commitment? Malinda couldn’t imagine going through all the classes and then backing out at the last minute. She shuddered just thinking of such a thing, but she knew it was not unheard-of. She supposed it would be much better to postpone the decision rather than have a change of heart after joining the church and risk shunning. How horrified parents and families would be!

  Malinda prayed she’d never give her parents cause for concern, except for her illness, which, of course, she couldn’t control. How she wished and prayed she could be rid of that thorn in her flesh. Would she ever learn to accept it?

  * * *

  “How are classes going?” Tim sat on the top front porch step beside Malinda on Saturday evening.

  “Fine.”

  “You don’t have any qualms about joining the church?”

  “None whatsoever. Did you?” Timothy had been baptized several years ago, along with Sam and Emma Swarey and others their age.

  “Nee. It’s what I always wanted. I never really had any desire to run around and try out a different lifestyle or Englisch ways.”

  “Me, neither. I’m perfectly content to live the way our people have always lived.”

  “That’s gut.”

  Timothy patted Malinda’s hand before lacing his fingers with hers. Chills still shot through her at his touch. She had wanted to discourage his attention, not only to be fair to him but also to avoid any heartache she’d likely experience when he bolted. And surely he’d run for the hills when he realized how awful her illness could be. It was only a matter of time. For all his goodness and kindness, Malinda did not expect Tim to be a saint who could blindly accept her with all her medical issues and associated expenses.

  She toyed with the idea of asking the bishop to recommend her for any teaching position in any of the local districts after she joined the church. Teaching would be a fitting occupation for a maedel throughout her whole, long unmarried life. Malinda loved kinner. Teaching would be the next best thing to having a houseful of her own. She had yet to voice this idea with anyone. It was something she’d been mulling over.

  Timothy left earlier than usual, since tomorrow would be a church day. Malinda had grown more and more comfortable with him and, to her chagrin, more and more fond of him. If he felt the same way, as she suspected he did, they could both be in for heartache. Malinda sighed deeply as she climbed the stairs in the sleeping house.

  * * *

  He sure did enjoy spending time with Malinda. The more he got to know her, the more he liked her. He wondered if she realized how pretty she was with that raven-colored hair and eyes as dark as midnight. Physical beauty wasn’t that important, but it sure didn’t hurt any. Timothy smiled to himself at the thought of the beautiful, tiny young woman who’d just sat beside him on the porch step.

  He had wanted to put his arms around her and never let her go, but that would definitely not have been appropriate. Maybe her slight build and small stature made him want to protect her. Yet, she had a determination and strength that belied her size. And she seemed so sensitive about her illness, as if it made her inferior in some way. Timothy could never tell her about his desire to shield her and take care of her for fear she’d misinterpret his meaning. That desire came not from any thought that she was sickly and unable to fend for herself, but from his genuine feelings of . . . what? Concern? Love?

  Timothy stopped in his tracks. Love? Did he love Malinda? Signs seemed to point in that direction. Timothy yanked off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. Why should he be surprised that the word popped
into his mind? He’d had the feelings for years.

  During every visit with Sam, he’d been aware of Malinda’s presence. He’d sought her out whenever he could do so inconspicuously. He’d tried to keep her in his line of vision whenever possible, whether she hung laundry on the line, weeded the flower beds, or played with Aden in the front yard. Jah, he’d had it bad for a long time.

  What were Malinda’s feelings? She allowed his visits and always seemed happy to see him. She didn’t shrink back when he sat so close to her their arms touched. She didn’t pull her hand away when he took it into his own—her little soft hand, delicate but strong. They talked easily about all sorts of things . . . the starry sky, their homes and families, his furniture making, her quilting. They laughed and teased each other. Her smile lit up his whole world, and her laugh rang in his ears like a pleasing melody. They certainly seemed well suited.

  Yet sometimes Timothy sensed a hesitation on Malinda’s part. Did she have misgivings about allowing his visits? Did she have doubts about her feelings for him? She definitely had no doubts about her faith or her upcoming baptism. Maybe she was simply shy or cautious, though he’d never considered her to be shy. He remembered she had been rather quiet at school, but she had participated in activities and always had an answer when the teacher called on her. He’d paid attention to her even then.

  Maybe he only imagined any reticence on Malinda’s part. Maybe he was afraid to believe she could be interested in him instead of Isaac Hostetler, even though she’d stated on several occasions she was glad she had made no commitments to Isaac.

  Timothy shook his head and shrugged his tense shoulders. He plopped his hat on his head and shuffled a little farther down the driveway. He was glad he had walked this evening, since it gave him more thinking time. He’d always known Malinda to be an honest person. Surely she would say so if she didn’t want him to visit. She would have snatched her hand away when he reached out to hold it. Did she feel the same jolt of electricity he did whenever they touched?